Atypical & Awesome “Safe”

When you have survived trauma or been in a situation of what I call chronic acute stress- safety rarely feels safe, In fact, it can be pretty scary. A place of the unknown- a feeling of comfort that is very uncomfortable because of the fear of loss. You are in a constant fear and almost waiting for that other shoe to drop. I am a survivor of some crappy things, if I can be candid. I have been hurt deeply by some who swore they’d never hurt me and have been left by those who swore they would never leave. I do not want to not dwell on the negative because that is not what this is really about. Today, I was carried by my husband. Truly carried. I needed him and he was there- totally and completely. He has been there for me consistently throughout our six and a half years together but today was in such a deep way. To let go and to allow him to carry me is huge. Today, I felt safe and it was not a looking over my shoulders safe. It was true safety and security. This is where healing really happens.